Bigger Than Love
by TutorGurl
Summary: S3, a very Spashley Christmas. "Now just think for a minute. Forget money, forget the mall, forget any store you’ve been to already, okay? If you could give Spencer anything in the world, what would it be?" Two-parter.
1. Christmas

_I wrote this on Christmas Eve, and never posted it here, and I'm bored and figured I'd post it now, even though the mood is obviously not right, since it's July. First time I'm posting a Spashley fic on here, I usually just post my embarrassing OTH ones. As far as the timeline goes, It's towards the end of 3A, I guess, but Pride never happened? IDK, Ashden is over, Spangs is over, Spashley are just friends, Paula is whatever. Kyla is pretty normal too, so I'll say the Jake stuff never happened either. The title and song were basically just what I was listening to at the time, which was Bigger Than Love by My Favorite Highway, btw.  
_

* * *

_**If there's a hole in your heart  
You gotta pull it together  
It takes the courage to start  
But now is better than never**_

"This is really starting to get tedious," Ashley informs her half sister as she comes to the end of yet another aisle. She can hear Kyla groaning on the other end of the phone, but considering her situation, she feels no sympathy for the younger girl.

"Where are you now?"

"Target," the brunette replies with a cringe, the name leaving a bad taste in her mouth. She can't remember the last time she was in this department store, if ever.

"You cannot get Spencer's Christmas present from Target!" Kyla exclaims, beginning to think her sister was hopeless. Her mother gives her an amused look and shakes her head, leaving the room.

"Well, I'm seriously out of ideas, Ky." The girl had spent the past week going to every store she could think of in an endless pursuit to find the perfect gift for Spencer. Considering how much she fucked up, and how new their renewed friendship was at the moment, she felt like this present was extremely important, and she didn't want to ruin it. "I cannot believe that I just inherited millions of dollars and I still can't think of the perfect gift for my girlfriend."

"Ex-girlfriend," the younger girl corrects her, just to bug her. She thought she had escaped the madness when she finally left for Baltimore two days ago, but her sister had not left her alone since she got there. It was three days until Christmas, and she was only giving Ashley one more day of help before she was turning off her cell.

"Don't be a bitch," Ashley snaps, starting her venture towards the exit. She couldn't get out of there fast enough. "I'm serious here, Kyla. I have less than two days to find the perfect gift for Spencer. It has to be _perfect_. I can't even find an _okay_ gift. That girl is impossible to shop for!"

"Less than two days? Christmas is in three days, Ash."

"I know, but Spencer and her family are going back to Ohio on Christmas Eve Day or whatever it's called," Ashley explains. "We're supposed to be exchanging gifts before she leaves."

"You guys aren't even spending Christmas together?" Kyla asks, surprised at the news. She would have invited Ashley to come back home with her if she had known that she was going to be alone on Christmas. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you'd get all sisterly or something, I don't know." Ashley sighs as she finally gets out of the store, and sits down on the closest bench she can find. "Look, that is the least of my worries right now. Kyla! You're supposed to be helping me here! You're the sensitive and thoughtful one, last time I checked!"

"Why don't you write her a song, and then sing it for her?"

"That is so gay, I'm not doing that! Come on, stop messing around!"

"Calm down, jeez," Kyla instructs her, imagining the kind of scene her sister is causing at the mall. "Okay, sit down-"

"I am sitting down!"

"Okay, then just take a deep breath," she begins, following her own instructions and hearing Ashley do the same over the line. "Close your eyes and clear your head."

"I look like an idiot," the older girl tells her, fully aware that she's sitting in the middle of a crowded mall.

"Ashley!"

"Sorry, sorry."

"Clear your head," Kyla repeats pointedly, just waiting for Ashley to make another smart-ass comment. When she doesn't, Kyla continues, "Now, just think of Spencer. Think of everything you guys have been through this year, everything _she_ has been through this year."

"This is depressing," Ashley can't help but remark. She knows Kyla is being serious and this is a serious situation, and she does take it seriously, but Ashley always needs to make jokes. She doesn't need to be reminded to think of the pain Spencer has been put through since knowing her, she never stops thinking about it. It's part of the reason why she needs this gift to be perfect. She hardly thinks it's going to make up for all of her mistakes, but she wants Spencer to know that she's changed, or at least is changing, and that she knows her and she loves her.

"Ash."

"I'm thinking about it, Ky," Ashley tells her quietly. "I always think about it."

"Okay," Kyla says just as softly, knowing it's a sensitive subject. "Now just think for a minute. Forget money, forget the mall, forget any store you've been to already, okay? If you could give Spencer _anything_ in the world, what would it be?"

"Kyla, if I knew that, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Oh my God, I'm hanging up now," Kyla cries, sick and tired of her sister's antics.

"Oh my God," Ashley mocks. "You're such a baby. Okay, I'm thinking. I'm thinking." Ashley shuts up and closes her eyes again, really thinking about Kyla's question. The first thing that pops into her mind is impossible, and for a moment she thinks the second one is too, but then she gets a brilliant idea. "Holy shit, Kyla, you've finally become useful!"

"You thought of something?"

"Yes!" Ashley cheers, jumping up and immediately speed walking in the direction her Porsche is parked. "Urgh, I can't believe I didn't think of this before. Okay, I have to go talk to Mr. C. Thanks for your help, Ky."

"Wait, wait, you're not even gonna tell me what it is?!" Kyla tries to get out before her sister hangs up. She sighs in frustration when she hears the dial tone and throws her cell onto the other end of the couch.

"Have I ever told you how much I've been dying to meet that sister of yours?" her mother teases from the doorway. Kyla rolls her eyes and laughs, used to Ashley's dramatics. She just hopes Ashley's brilliant stroke of genius doesn't end up the way most of Ashley's brilliant plans end up – blowing up in her face.

* * *

"Remind me again how you roped me into all this heavy lifting on my vacation," Sean questions as he repositions his end of the tree to get a better grip.

"Because you can't resist a cute blonde when she pouts," Spencer jokes as she watches Sean and the lot employee carrying the tree towards Sean's truck. "And because I picked you up from the airport last week in Ashley's Porsche, like you wanted. You owe me."

"Someone got a big head while I was away," the boy teases, enjoying giving the girl a hard time. He always treated her like a younger sister when he was over at the house with Clay, and he was happy that they had managed to maintain some sort of friendship even though Clay was gone and he was out of the State.

"Ashley tells me I'm cute all the time," Spencer reasons with a small smile, the smile that always seems to find its way onto her face when she talks of her former girlfriend.

Sean sees her smile, and can't help one of his own from forming. He was always rooting for those two crazy kids to work it out. He knew Ashley was a little rough around the edges, but he also knew how much she loved the blonde, and he didn't have any doubts that they'd find their way back to each other. "Who am I to argue with a millionaire teen queen?"

"Shut up and keep moving."

"Why isn't Aiden or Glen helping you with this?"

"Glen is at home packing," Spencer answers absentmindedly, more focused on the tree the boys were carrying, trying to decide if it was going to fit. "And I don't have the slightest clue what Aiden's been up to lately."

"Packing?" Sean huffs, sighing in relief when he spots his truck not to far away. "He didn't enlist in the army again, did he?"

"No, no," Spencer can't help but laugh, making herself stop stressing about the tree. "The family is going back to Ohio for Christmas like last year, and he always waits until the last minute to pack."

"If you guys are leaving, why are we buying this Christmas tree?" They finally stop just beside his truck and after some struggle, he and Billy, the helper assigned to them, manage to get it hooked up to the roof. After Billy leaves them be, Sean turns back to the blonde, waiting for his answer.

"I'm not going," she informs him with a smirk. "Chelsea is taking my place this year and it's just mom, dad, her and Glen going." Sean knows that smile from a mile away.

"And you're bringing this tree over to Ashley's loft," he finishes for her. He should have known.

"Yeah, but it's a surprise," she explains as they both hop inside the truck and buckle up. "Ashley thinks I'm leaving for the week in a couple of days, but I talked my parents into letting me stay behind." Sean glances over at her knowingly. "Okay, I talked my dad into letting me stay behind, and he said he'd talk to my mom about it. Anyway, Ashley has never really had a real Christmas before, and I wasn't there last year, so I wanted to surprise her by sneaking the tree into the loft during the night and then surprise her again with her real Christmas present – me."

"You, as in …" he trails off, not sure how to finish that sentence properly. He wiggles his eyebrows and when Spencer starts coughing, he knows she gets it.

"No, no," she immediately reassures him. "Me, as in, you know, my amazing company. Ash and I are just friends."

"Yeah, I'm so sure," the boy teases, slowly pulling out onto the road. "This whole little scheme doesn't really sound like something a friend does for another friend."

"We're _best_ friends," Spencer stresses, knowing she isn't fooling anyone. "Like before."

"Girl, you and Ashley were never just best friends," Sean tells her, having a feeling he wasn't telling her something that she didn't already know. "You know it, I know it, everyone at school knew it. You're so hoping this turns into something more."

"The whole school?" Sean looks pointedly at her, and she sighs. "I don't know. She really, really hurt me, Sean. Not just with all that Aiden stuff, but she just ditched me after Clay died, that's what hurts the most. How can I trust her again after that? But … God, there are times when we're together now, and I just don't care about all of that. There's a part of me that just wants to forget all of it and start over again, you know?"

"I know."

"She's changed," Spencer states with absolute certainty. "I can see how much she's changed everyday. I mean, she's still the same old Ashley who makes a joke about everything, especially to avoid a serious conversation, but … She's just changed. And that part of me that wants to forget everything, says that's enough. She's apologized a lot for everything she's done and really, what else can she do, right? It's not like she can turn back time or anything."

"She's changed?"

"So much," she confirms. "She's so thoughtful now, she always calls me when she says she's going to. She's on time when we have plans, she tries so hard with my mom, and I know how much it kills her to be nice to her. She talks to me about her day and things that are bothering her, and she listens to me when I do the same." Spencer sees the way Sean is looking at her and knows what he's thinking. "I know those are all things that should be expected for a decent girlfriend, and they aren't things that should be rewarded, but I just mean that it all shows how much she's matured. Isn't that enough?"

"Only you can say when it's enough, Spence," he tells her sadly, wishing there were some kind of magic words he could give her to ease her conflict. He can see how much she's struggling with her feelings.

"I thought you were supposed to be all knowing," she pouts. "I need some advice here."

"Well, all I can say is … There's no weakness in forgiveness." Spencer knows what he means. She's forgiven Ashley, but she's afraid she's selling herself short by getting back together with her already. She feels like there's a certain set amount of time allotted for 'punishment' for offenses like Ashley's, but she doesn't care. All she's doing is punishing herself, too. She doesn't care what it looks like to other people. But there's still just something holding her back. She doesn't know what it is yet, but she hopes that it resolves itself quickly.

"Yeah," she nods, sadly. They drive in silence for a few moments before Spencer perks up again. "You know you're helping me sneak the tree into Ashley's loft on Christmas Eve, right?"

"Of course I am."

* * *

It's two days later and Ashley iss practically bouncing on the spot, waiting for Spencer to call or show up. The girl was supposed to be at her loft in five minutes, and the usually early blonde hadn't shown up yet. Ashley contemplates calling Kyla to bitch at her about it, but figures that she should give her sister a break – it was Christmas Eve after all.

The brunette checks her watch and groans when she sees that it's exactly twelve, and Spencer still isn't there. She knows that the Carlins' flight is leaving for Ohio at four, and she is really starting to get nervous. She had finally thought of something she knew was perfect, and she had practiced what she was going to say about a billion times, and now Spencer wasn't even gonna show up.

Before Ashley can start gnawing her arm off, she hears her iPhone ring. Leaping across the couch to get it, she checks the picture ID, and is relieved to see Spencer's adorable face staring back at her. "Spence, where are you? You're late!"

"It's just noon now," the blonde laughs, not knowing how crazy she's driving Ashley.

"Yeah, but you're always early!"

"Oh, well, sorry," she replies, watching from her place in her living room, as her family ran around making sure that they had everything.

"Are you on your way over?"

Hearing just how anxious Ashley sounds, Spencer starts feeling a little bad for having to do this, "I'm actually not gonna be able to make it. I'm still at home, and we're all running really late, and the flight was pushed up, so we have to get to the airport earlier than we thought."

"Oh," is all Ashley can say. All the giddiness and excitement immediately leaves her body at the words, and she slumps back against the couch. "How come you didn't come over earlier then? I've been up since like six."

Okay, Spencer is _really_ starting to feel bad now. "I'm sorry, things have just been really hectic over here that I forgot all about our gift exchange until just now." She wishes she could take her words back the moment they leave her lips. She grimaces, dreading the sadness she'll hear in the other girl's voice.

"Oh," Ashley says again, sounding even more heartbroken than before, if that was even possible. "It's cool, I was just watching TV and noticed the time …"

"We'll get together when I come back, okay?" Spencer says, trying her best to sound casual and ignore the tugging at her heart at Ashley's tone. "I have a great gift for you."

"That sounds good," the older girl mumbles, suddenly feeling tears in her eyes. "I better let you go. Have fun in Ohio, Spence. And merry Christmas."

"Ashley," Spencer tries, but the other girl has already hung up. That had hurt a lot more than she thought it would, but she just has to keep reminding herself that she'll be making it up to her in a few hours.

* * *

"What if she's still awake?" Sean stage whispers, as he and Spencer stand outside the door to Ashley's loft. It's two in the morning, and after a half hour of fighting with the Christmas tree, they had finally managed to make it to their destination.

"I talked to Kyla before we left the house, and she said that Ashley told her she was heading to bed early," Spencer explains, praying that Kyla was reliable. She knew Ashley sometimes took a while to get ready for bed, but she had talked to the girl almost two hours ago, so she was pretty sure Ashley would be asleep by now.

"And you're sure she's not gonna hear us and like attack us with pepper spray or something?" Sean asks for a millionth time. "Because when a girl wakes up and finds a black dude in her apartment that wasn't there when she went to bed, she tends to shoot first and ask questions later. I'm just saying."

Spencer rolls her eyes and digs for the key Ashley had given her the month before. "Ash is a heavy sleeper and she tends to fall asleep with music playing. Trust me, we'll be fine."

"If you say so." Not waiting for instructions, Sean picks up the tree for its last leg of the journey and hauls it inside when Spencer finally gets the door open. Once he puts it in the spot Spencer tells him, the two of them start decorating it the best they can with the decorations they were able to bring.

"Thank you so much, Sean," Spencer gushes when they finish, throwing her arms around the boy. "You're a life saver, and helping me with this is the best Christmas present you could have ever gotten me."

"No problem, Spence," he assures her, squeezing her tightly before letting her go. She looks up at him with a bright smile and he can't help but ruffle her hair. "I know Clay would have helped you, so it was my honor."

Spencer's bright smile turns sad for a moment before she shakes her head, not wanting this moment or this night to be sad. She knows Clay wouldn't want that, so she tries to be happy when she thinks of him. Instead, Spencer gets on her tippy toes and kisses Sean on the cheek. "You're the best."

"If you really wanna repay me, you could tell Kyla that," he jokes, trying to lighten the mood. "Put in a good word for me." Spencer laughs and nods, playfully punching him in the arm.

"Sure thing," she promises. With one last hug, Sean heads out, leaving Spencer alone in the living room. She lets out a sigh and looks around, admiring the tree they had managed to set up in under an hour. She sees that it's only three and decides that the loft needs a bit more Christmas cheer. She grabs the extra lights from the box and begins streaming them up around the room.

* * *

The first thing Ashley thinks when she wakes up is that she must still be asleep, because she swears she's wrapped around the body she was just dreaming about. She slowly opens her eyes and can't believe the sight before her – Spencer is curled up in her arms, the back of her messy blonde head staring her in the face.

"Spence?" Ashley whispers, mostly to herself and not in an attempt to wake the younger girl. She blinks a few times, yet Spencer is still there. She twists around to get a look at her alarm clock and the bright red numbers tell her that it's ten in the morning. Knowing the time doesn't help her understand what Spencer is doing in her bed, wearing a pair of her boy shorts and one of her worn out Purple Venom concert tees, Ashley continues to try to figure this out.

"Mmm," Spencer purrs, as she slowly joins Ashley in the land of the living. She had planned on staying up after getting the lights put up, but when she had finished, she was too tired and too bored, and when she had gone in to turn off Ashley's music, the girl's bed looked far too inviting for her to resist. She can feel Ashley's eyes on her and she turns around in her arms, her sleepy smile spreading across her face. Her smile widens when she sees the shocked and confused look on Ashley's face, and the fact that despite that, the girl hasn't loosened her hold on her. Leaning up to kiss Ashley gently on the forehead, Spencer whispers, "Merry Christmas."

"But you're in Ohio," Ashley speaks dumbly, thinking this is all way too good to be true. She definitely has to be dreaming. "Or, you're supposed to be."

"My family is in Ohio," Spencer corrects her. "I'm in your clothes, in your bed, and in your arms. Right where I'm supposed to be."

Hearing those words, Ashley finally decides to stop questioning everything, at least for now, and snuggles back into the other girl, pulling the covers up around them. "I don't care if this is a dream, I'll worry about that in twenty minutes. Right now, we're just gonna cuddle, kay?"

Spencer giggles and agrees, as Ashley rolls over onto back, pulling Spencer to rest ontop of her.

* * *

Like the day before, a girl sits in the living room, practically bouncing with anticipation, but this time it's a blonde. After the girls spent another innocent sixty minutes in bed cuddling, Spencer had finally talked Ashley into getting up and showering, promising her that there was more surprises waiting for her.

After seeing Ashley's reaction in bed earlier, Spencer is even more anxious to see how she'll react to Christmas throwing up on her living room. Ever since the year before, when Ashley had told her that she'd never had a real Christmas, with real decorations, at least not that she could remember, Spencer had been planning to do this. They weren't dating yet this time last year, and her mother was a total Ashley Nazi, so there was no way she could have managed to stay home then, but this year, after she and Ashley were back on good terms, she knew she still wanted to go through with it. Christmas had always been her favorite holiday, and she wanted to share it with Ashley more than anything.

She hopes that they have many Christmases together in their future after this, and she wants to start it off with a bang. Spencer giggles to herself, knowing what kind of joke Ashley would have made there.

"What are you giggling about in there?" Ashley calls from her bedroom, coming out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her. She still cannot comprehend the fact that Spencer is sitting in her living room right now, or that she was just in her bed with her less than an hour ago. Just yesterday she had been convinced that this was going to be the worst Christmas in the history of bad Christmases, but it was turning out to be the best one ever.

"Nothing, just hurry up so you can see your next surprise!" Ashley does as she's told and quickly throws on some sweats and a hoody, figuring that formal wear isn't needed just yet. She has no idea what to expect when she walks out of her room, so she takes a moment to prepare herself. "Ash!"

"I'm coming! Jeez, woman!" Ashley calls as she finally steps out of her room. "You'd think I was taking …" The words die on her lips as she sets her eyes on the huge Christmas tree in the middle of her loft, decorated from head to toe, with a star on the top and everything. It takes her a moment to tear her eyes away from the tree and take in the sight of all the lights hanging from her ceiling and the mantles around the room. After a moment, her gaze finally lands on the nervous blonde who was now standing in front of the tree. "Spence …"

The taller girl feels a chill run down her spine at all the emotion she can hear in Ashley's voice. Just one word was all she needs to hear to know how much Ashley loves her surprise. Spencer watches as a million emotions flash across the brunette's face, and when she thinks she sees her eyes start to water, Spencer rushes across the room, launching herself into Ashley's arms.

Ashley hugs Spencer tighter than she can ever remember hugging her, lifting her clear off the ground, despite the fact that she's shorter. She can't believe that Spencer had done all of this for her, not after everything she had done to Spencer. She really doesn't know what she could have possibly done in another life to deserve the girl wrapped around her, but she's eternally grateful for whatever it was. She knows that after all this time that Spencer's amazing heart shouldn't still surprise her, but it does.

When she feels Spencer starting to loosen her hold, she shakes her head and pulls her impossibly closer, afraid of what might happen if she lets her go. She's not sure if she's more afraid of; the girl disappearing or bursting into tears right in front of Spencer. After a few more moments, Ashley finally lets Spencer go, but the blonde doesn't go very far. She keeps them connected, but pulls back to cup Ashley's cheeks, and laugh joyfully as she wipes the few stray tears off the other girl's face.

"You like?"

Ashley chuckles and stares straight at Spencer, her eyes betraying everything she's currently feeling. "I love." Spencer holds her unwavering gaze for a moment before biting her lip and lightening up the moment.

"Come on, you goof, let's get breakfast and then we'll open presents." Ashley would pretty much follow Spencer into a burning building at this point, so she doesn't hesitant to follow the younger girl to the kitchen.

"How did you set all of this up?"

"Sean," is all Spencer says as she pulls out the box of frozen waffles from the freezer. She doesn't bother trying to look for anything to actually make something, knowing already that the sisters don't have anything that's not frozen in their kitchen.

"Dude is like a ninja!"

"Don't tell him that, it'll go to his head," she advises with a smile. She really does owe Sean a lot.

"So how long have you had this planned?" Ashley asks, remembering yesterday and how upset she was. Spencer cringes and looks at Ashley apologetically.

"Like a month."

"Then yesterday was just unnecessarily cruel!" Ashley exclaims, suddenly feeling really stupid for her extreme reaction the day before.

"I know, I'm so sorry, I didn't think that part through," Spencer assures her, tossing the waffles into the toaster and giving Ashley a hug. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I did not cry!"

"Kyla says you called her in tears after you hung up and she practically had to talk you off the ledge for the rest of the day," Spencer teases her, exaggerating for the fun of it.

Ashley clenches her jaw in embarrassment, but plays it off, "Kyla is an idiot." Spencer laughs and kisses Ashley's nose, letting the subject drop for her sake.

* * *

"Spence, please tell me you didn't actually get me a present," Ashley says as they get settled back into the living room after their breakfast. Ashley doesn't know what to say when Spencer simply shrugs and smiles bashfully at her. "You've already done more than enough! I don't need anything else. You being here is more than I could ever ask for."

"It's nothing much," Spencer promises as she hands her perfectly wrapped box over to her ex-girlfriend. Ashley playfully glares at her for a moment before focusing back on the box, trying to decide where to start unwrapping. She ends up just ripping it off, and pulls off the lid, her trademark nose crinkling smile forming the instant she sees what's inside.

"Tell me you didn't make a scrapbook of us," Ashley teases through her smile, picking the huge book up and disregarding the box to her side. She flips through the first few pages and sees pictures, movie stubs, notes they passed in class and countless other significant things stuck to the pages. "You totally did. You're such a girl!"

"Whatever, you've made them before, too!" Spencer knew she'd get some ridicule for her present, but she also knew that Ashley would really love it, though she'd never admit it. "My mom was bitching about the, and I quote, 'Ashley Shrine', I have up in my room, so I started making that a couple of months ago to get her off my back. I wasn't really making it to give to you, but when I couldn't think of anything else, I thought that would be the perfect thing. I mean, what else can I get the girl that has everything?"

"I don't have everything, Spence," Ashley tells her, looking at her meaningfully. Spencer nods and blushes a bit when Ashley tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Not yet," Spencer replies quietly, and when Ashley's grin gets even bigger, she knows she heard her.

"Thank you so much," Ashley tells her, gesturing to the scrapbook that's sitting on her lap. "I love it, and I'm totally gonna be obsessively looking through it every night before bed from now on. I just need a lock of your hair and I'll be set."

"Ass," Spencer laughs, happy to see that her present was a hit. She hadn't been stressing over the perfect gift as much as Ashley had been, but it had still be a bit of a struggle for her, so seeing that Ashley liked it made her happy.

"So, um, I guess it's your turn." Ashley doesn't know why she suddenly feels so nervous, since she was so confident about her gift yesterday. She still thinks it's perfect, and hopes that Spencer agrees, but there's still an uneasiness that won't go away until she sees what Spencer's reaction will be.

"Well, if you insist!" Spencer jokes, quite excited to see what Ashley could have possibly gotten her. Kyla had told her on the phone the previous night that Ashley had spent a week freaking out, trying to find the perfect gift, only to have some kind of epiphany in the middle of the mall two days before. She just hopes Ashley didn't go all out and buy some extravagant thing like she tended to do on occasion. Spencer wouldn't be offended, knowing that Ashley had obviously put a lot of thought into whatever it was she bought, but it just wasn't necessary.

"Okay, close your eyes." Spencer does just that, and Ashley takes a deep breath to calm her nerves before placing her gift in Spencer's waiting hands. "You can open them now."

"What's this?" Spencer questions before she can stop herself, confused to find a simple envelope before her.

"I was gonna try to trick you by putting it in a box or something, but I can't wrap for the life of me so …" Ashley tries to explain, her tone making it obvious how unsure she now is. "Just open it, please."

"Okay," Spencer agrees, sliding her finger across the seam and opening the flap. She closes her eyes for a brief moment as she pulls out the contents. When she opens her eyes, she's faced with a handful of tourist brochures to different places around the world. Her brow furrows as she tries to decipher what this is supposed to mean, but she can't figure it out. She looks up at Ashley, holding the booklets up. "I'm sorry, I don't … I don't understand. What's …"

"I spent forever trying to find you the perfect gift," Ashley begins, swallowing past the lump that has suddenly appeared in her throat. "I racked my brain for weeks, and literally went to every store within an hour from here, but there was nothing. I wanted this gift to somehow make up for all the fucked up things I've done in the past year. I mean, I didn't expect it to really make up for it or anything, but I wanted it to be a start, you know? I just felt like this was my chance to do something good, for you, but I couldn't find a single thing that was right."

"I would have loved anything you got me, Ash."

"I know," Ashley smiles at her. She moves a bit closer to the girl and takes a hold of her hands. "I know you would have, Spence. You're just that kinda girl. But … I just really wanted it to be perfect. And two days ago, when I was in the middle of the mall, having a breakdown with Kyla on the phone because I still hadn't found anything, she said something that finally clicked. You know what she said?"

"What?" Spencer asks softly, completely captivated by the girl before her, hanging on her every word.

"She told me to calm down, and she told me to just think." Ashley squeezes Spencer's hand unconsciously. "Then she asked me if I could get you anything in the world, what would it be." Ashley quickly decides that it's best not to mention that her first real thought was Clay, since that would just ruin the mood. "And then I realized that if I could give you anything in the world, Spence, it would be to give you this last summer back."

Spencer feels her heart swell and clench at the same time, but she still doesn't quite get it. "But what do …'

"I obviously can't give last summer back, since no matter how much money I have, I can't get a time machine built," Ashley attempts to joke, and she's happy she gets a bit of a smile out of Spencer. "I can't give you last summer, but I can give you this next one." Spencer looks confused for another moment before her eyes widen. "Anywhere in the world you want to go, we'll go. I talked to your dad already, and he said that as long as it was okay with you, I could kidnap you and we could spend all summer together, wherever it is you want to go."

"Ashley …"

"I know this might seem like the Cabo thing, but I swear it's not," Ashley jumps in before Spencer can say anything. "We don't even have to go anywhere, if you just want to stay here. This isn't me naively trying to buy your love or anything. This is me committing to you, in the only way I know how right now. No matter what our relationship is by June, whether we're dating again, or we're still just friends or even if you're dating someone else, I want to spend the whole summer with you, like I should have done before. I know it's not the same, but it's the only thing I could think of and …"

Spencer cuts her rambling off with a soft kiss, her hands leaving Ashley's and coming to rest on either side of her neck. It takes Ashley a moment to realize what's going on before she starts kissing her back. The kiss is innocent and new, yet passionate and familiar. It makes Ashley feel indescribably tingly all over.

"That was a much better reaction than I was hoping for," is all that Ashley can think to say when Spencer pulls away from her and rests their foreheads together. "I hope you don't think that's what I was expecting, because I totally wasn't. I don't want you to feel like you have to rush into anything because I was amazing enough to think of such a romantic gift." The blonde just laughs and moves herself into Ashley's lap like it was where she belonged - and it was.

"I hate to burst your bubble, but I was already planning on macking on you, whether your gift sucked or not," Spencer informs her, wrapping her arms around Ashley's neck and letting the other girl bury her head in the crook of her own.

"Is that right?" Ashley questions, finding it absolutely impossible to wipe the silly grin off of her face. This was most definitely the best Christmas in the history of Christmases. She had no idea how they could possibly top it next year or in the years to come. Oh yeah, there would be years to come.

"Yep," Spencer confirms, leaning forward to press her lips against her girlfriend's. She can't believe how good it felt to be able to do that whenever she wanted again. "Though you totally ruined the adorable little mistletoe thing I had planned out!"

"Oh, you had a plan involving mistletoe, huh?"

"It was gonna be epic." Ashley just laughs and squeezes the life out of the girl in her lap. She knows that there will be lots of serious talking still to be had, but all of that could wait until tomorrow. For now, she just wants to enjoy Christmas with the girl of dreams, the girl she still doesn't think she deserves, but somehow got anyway. "But whatever, your little field trip sounds alright too. I was thinking we should go to all the places you went during the summer, and like, replace all the depressing old memories with new ones."

"Would these new ones involve nudity?"

"Perhaps," Spencer grins, her cheeks turning a slight shade of red at the topic of conversation.

"Now that'll definitely be epic," Ashley agrees, loving the way Spencer still blushes a little bit when they talk about sex. It was just one of the many, many, many things she adores about the girl. She leans forward, kissing the blonde's chin. "Thank you for giving me Christmas, and so much more. I love you, Santa."

"I love you, too, Mrs. Claus," Spencer promises, sealing it with a kiss.

* * *

There's a second part that I'll probably post in a couple of days. **But review, please!**


	2. New Years

**Author's Note:** I liked the Christmas part and tried my hand at a New Years Eve one, and it failed miserably, mostly because there isn't really a plot at all and it's just me writing a bunch of random things that I always like to read in fics. It's stupid, but I wasted time on it, so what the hell. I'm posting it anyway. Meh.

* * *

_**Life flies by, so you have to embrace it  
Forget the past, cause you cannot erase it  
So live the dream, and learn to chase it  
And when you can almost taste it  
It all comes alive**_

"Have you talked to your parents yet?" Ashley asks as she reenters the living room with the bowl of popcorn she was sent out to make.

"Earlier, yeah," Spencer answers, lifting up her legs for Ashley to slide under, putting them on Ashley's lap when her girlfriend is back in place. "I called from home when I went to get a change of clothes. I figured I should at least pretend that I've been staying there so my mom's head doesn't explode."

Ashley can't help but chuckle a little bit, still surprised that Spencer was able to talk her way into staying behind by herself, especially over the holidays. "Did you tell them that we're back together?"

"I told my dad," she confirms, grabbing some popcorn. "I knew that if I told my mom she'd be on the first plane back to supervise us, so she can just find out when they come back."

"I better not be there to greet them, then," Ashley comments, already picturing the death glare she'll receive from the older Carlin. If she's lucky, that's all she'll get. "I'm just finally growing that patch of hair back."

"Don't be so dramatic," Spencer laughs, instinctively reaching back to play with the other girl's dark curls.

"But then I wouldn't be me," the brunette says with a cheesy grin. "And you wouldn't want me any other way, right?"

"I wouldn't mind a few improvements," Spencer teases, not really meaning it. Sure, Ashley could be a bit more mature, and less of a smart ass, and more open with her feelings, but Spencer learned how to love Ashley just as she was, with every single one of her flaws.

"That sounds like a segway," Ashley comments, leaning into Spencer's touch and turning her head to look at her. "Are we gonna have The Talk now?"

"Not yet." She definitely wants to have it before her family and Kyla come home, knowing that her and Ashley have a knack for getting interrupted, no matter what they're doing, but she doesn't think now is the time. "It's already pretty late."

"Okay," Ashley agrees simply, willing to let her girlfriend set the pace. She'd be lying if she said that she was looking forward to having this long overdue conversation, but she knows that it's needed and she knows that she owes Spencer more than a few explanations and she wants to give them to her. She won't have a lot of the answers that she's sure the younger girl is looking for, but she'll give her all of the ones that she does have. "Can we have it before New Years Eve? I kinda wanna start the new year off fresh, you know? None of the old drama weighing us down."

"I think that sounds like an excellent idea," the blonde beams, pulling Ashley's head towards her so she can kiss her. When they pull apart, Spencer lays her head on Ashley's shoulder and stares at the Christmas tree that is still sitting in the living room, days after Christmas is over. "Do you think I should make Sean come back and take this away or just wait for Glen to come home and get him to do it?"

"When are they coming home?"

"My dad said they were probably staying a few extra days than planned," Spencer says, absentmindedly playing with her girlfriend's slender fingers. "So probably like the fifth, I think."

"Just wait for Glen then," the brunette decides. She likes looking at the tree, knowing it was something that Spencer had done for her. She can't remember the last time she had a Christmas tree up in her house, and it makes her feel normal. She feels Spencer nod against her shoulder, and she gently removes her hand from the blonde's grip, bringing it around her shoulder and pulling the girl closer to her side. "So that means I've got you all to myself for almost another week? I like the sound of that."

"When does Kyla come home?"

"I don't know," Ashley laughs. "I don't really listen to her when she talks. She's at least staying in Baltimore until New Years."

"Does she know we're back together?" Kyla had been a pretty good friend to Spencer this whole time, despite being Ashley's sister, and she knows that unlike her mother, the girl would be extremely happy to hear the news.

"Nah," Ashley answers, grabbing a hand full of popcorn with her free hand and popping a couple of kernels in her mouth. "Then she'd know that her little advice or whatever helped get us back together and I'd never hear the end of it. No, she can find out when she comes home and never know the exact details." She sees Spencer smirking. "She doesn't hear the details, got it?"

"Sure, sure," Spencer promises, holding her fingers up to show Ashley her crossed fingers. The brunette just rolls her eyes and lets it drop. She does kinda owe her sister for getting her girl back, so she can't be too mad. "What should we do tomorrow night? We've been cooped up in here for three days straight."

"Is that you complaining?"

Spencer knows she's just joking, but she plays along with a sweet smile, grabbing Ashley's chin and shaking gently. "Never. But I kinda feel like showing you off."

"Make our big debut as a newly reunited couple?" Ashley asks with a big smile, more than happy to let everyone in the LA area know that she had managed to win the best girl in the world back. "I could go for that. Ego?"

"Kay." She has only ever been there once, and it didn't end too well, but she's more than willing to go back with Ashley and erase that memory. She can't help but smile a bit as she remembers how protective Ashley got when she told her what had happened that night with Carmen.

* * *

_"You coming over for dinner tonight?" Spencer asks as she starts gathering her homework that was spread over Ashley's bed. She had starting coming over to the loft to do her homework and just hang out after school about a week ago, still finding it hard to be alone in her house without Clay, since everyone else was at work. "My dad's making his famous chili that you love."_

_"Didn't he just make that the other night?" Ashley questions from her position at the foot of the bed, staring up at the ceiling._

_"You caught me, we're having left overs." The blonde shoves her last textbook into her bag and places it on the floor, sitting down on the newly cleared bed. She notices that Ashley doesn't seem like herself this afternoon. She reaches over and gives her thigh a playful slap. "Come on, I know you're not exactly picky. Is it the company? You sick of me already?"_

_Though she's currently preoccupied, Ashley manages to lock eyes with the other girl and smile sincerely at her. "Never happen, Spence."_

_"So you're coming?" Spencer asks, blushing slightly from the intense look the brunette is still giving her._

_"How come Carmen is never there?" Ashley finally asks, voicing the thing that's been nagging at her for a while. At first she was just thankful that Spencer's little charity case wasn't there, but after being over there almost every night for the past week, she was starting to get curious. "Isn't it a little weird to have your ex-girlfriend over for dinner instead of your current one?"_

_Spencer shifts uncomfortably and sighs. It looks like they were finally going to have this conversation. After that night at Ego, and their subsequent make up, Ashley hadn't mentioned the other brunette at all, and Spencer felt weird just randomly informing Ashley that she was no longer seeing Carmen, thinking it might come off like she was expecting something to come of that. Ashley, who is watching the other girl intently, notices her discomfort and sits up._

_"Spence?"_

_"Carmen and I aren't together anymore," Spencer whispers, hoping that will be enough, but knowing it won't be. No way will Ashley just leave it at that. "We weren't even ever really together in the first place. We barely went on a couple dates. That night at Ego was like the third and last time we hung out."_

_"You guys broke up that night?" Ashley asks, surprised by this news. She thought Spencer would have told her something like that, but after thinking about it, she understands why Spencer didn't. Spencer nods, biting her lip, waiting. "Not to sound all egotistical or anything, but … It wasn't because of me, was it?"_

_Knowing that she's not good at lying to anyone, let alone Ashley, Spencer decides to just tell the truth, "Kinda, yeah."_

_"Did she hear what I said?"_

_"I guess so," Spencer nods, trying her best to keep her emotions in check. She knows that in comparison to how things could have turned out, what happened wasn't really that bad at all, but it still hurts her to think about._

_Ashley watches as Spencer pulls at her fingers, and she gets an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. She reaches over and covers the girl's hands with her own, stopping her nervous habit. "What happened?"_

_"We went back to Chelsea's studio, and she was asking who you were," Spencer retells, getting the strength she needs to continue when Ashley squeezes her hands. "I just told her that you were my ex, trying to play it down because she sounded angry enough, but when she started trashing you, I had to defend you." The uneasy feeling in Ashley's stomach is starting to get worse as she listens intently to Spencer's story. "That made her really angry, and I tried to calm her down, but … But, she wouldn't listened and she ended up pushing me into the wall pretty hard."_

_Ashley sits completely still beside her, letting her words wash over her. She closes her eyes and swallows the rage she feels growing inside of her. "She did what?"_

_"She pushed me," Spencer repeats quickly, seeing that Ashley is incredibly tense. "I hit my head and my back, and I still have a bit of a bruise on my elbow, but I'm okay, Ash, it's not a big deal."_

_"Not a big deal?!" Ashley finally explodes, jumping off the bed and standing in front of Spencer, staring at her incredulously. "Are you insane? This is a huge deal! She fucking pushed you! Nobody should ever be treated like that; especially by someone they're dating, especially when that person is you! You would never hurt anyone; you're sweet and you're perfect. You're my …" She wants to say girlfriend so very badly, but she can't. Spencer isn't her girlfriend, but Ashley loves her like she is, and the thought that Carmen had hurt Spencer fills her with such an overwhelming rage she really has no idea what to do with herself. "Urgh, where does she live? I'm gonna kick the shit out of her!"_

_"Please calm down," Spencer says quietly, reaching up to grab Ashley's hands and bring her back down to sit beside her. She didn't expect Ashley to react any differently, remembering that conversation they had after the incident on Club Day, but she doesn't want her ex-girlfriend to get all worked up over something that really wasn't a big deal for her anymore. "I know you're angry, but I ended it with her the next time I saw her; we're over. She left town and it's just over. Please don't make a huge deal out of this."_

_"I just …" There are so many emotions whirling around inside of Ashley's head and heart, and she can't seem to just pin point one and stick with it. Eventually, her intense love for Spencer overpowers her intense hatred for Carmen, and she gently takes the other girl in her arms. "I'm so sorry, sweetie."_

_"It's not your fault."_

_"It is," Ashley says sadly, running her hands through Spencer's hair. She tries her best to hold back her tears. "All I've done since I met you is hurt you, Spence. But I swear I don't mean to. I would never hurt you on purpose, especially not the way Carmen did. Never, ever, ever."_

_"I know, Ash," Spencer promises her, turning her head to give the older girl a kiss on the cheek. "I'm not gonna lie, you've done your fair share of hurting me, but this one isn't on you, okay?"_

_Ashley doesn't believe her, but she's not about to argue with her. Instead, she just nods and hugs the girl again, gently bringing them backwards to lie down on the bed. Her mind won't stop spinning, and she still feels the rage in the pit of her stomach, but when Spencer lays her head on her chest and wraps her arm around her waist, she tries her best to let it go, for now._

* * *

That afternoon had been a turning point in their relationship, as far as Spencer was concerned. Sure, they had been hanging out more and were already friends again, but it was after sharing that with Ashley, and having Ashley handle it just the way she needed her to, that Spencer felt they were best friends again. It was as if they had some kind of silent agreement that things were officially getting better between them. They were sharing the important stuff again and it wasn't just superficial.

"What do you think about Grey for New Years?" Ashley asks randomly after a moment of comfortable silence. "I haven't talked to Kat in a long time, though I sure as hell could have used her advice a few times."

"I think that sounds absolutely perfect," Spencer agrees, many pleasant memories of the club filling her head. She doesn't mind going to Ego with Ashley, but she much prefers their old hang out for New Years. They say that how you spend your New Years is how you'll spend the rest of the year, and she's hoping to start it off right.

* * *

"My head is killing me," Spencer groans as she and Ashley enter the loft sluggishly, tired from a night of dancing. "That music combined with those lights was a bad idea, me thinks."

"Aw, poor baby," Ashley coos, slipping off her heels and bending down to help Spencer out of her's. She's not as sore, more used to a night out at Ego than her girlfriend, but she's still pretty tired.

"Thank you," the blonde sighs once her feet are freed. Both girls shrug off their jackets and immediately move towards Ashley's room, completely bypassing the still Christmasfied living room. "Mmm, you're bed has never felt more comfy."

"Just wait until I get in there." She strips off her fancy club clothes and crawls onto the bed, playfully collapsing on top of Spencer. The blonde giggles accordingly, and rolls the girl off of her, turning on her side to look at her.

"So," she starts, sounding a bit unsure. "Aiden was weird tonight." Ashley was waiting for this, so she isn't surprised or uncomfortable; she simply shrugs.

"I don't know what that boy is thinking," she says truthfully. She hasn't really talked to him in ages. She isn't even sure if they ever made up after the fight that finally ended the huge mistake that was their little arrangement. The couple had simply been sitting at their table, leaning close together to whisper over the music, occasionally sharing kisses, when they had spotted Aiden staring at them from across the room. Before they could even think to wave [though neither of them knew if they should or not], the boy had abruptly turned around, pretending he didn't even see them. "And I don't really care. I haven't talked to him since we … Uh, you know."

"Broke up?" Spencer supplies for her. She isn't uncomfortable talking about this, but she's not entirely comfortable with it either.

"We would have had to be a couple to break up," Ashley scoffs. She sees the way Spencer is looking at her and can see that she's serious. Looks like they're going to have The Talk now, or at least part of it.

"You weren't?"

"Despite what he seemed to think and hope, hell no," Ashley responds bluntly. "That first night, I was totally heartbroken and vulnerable and he took advantage. I'm not trying to put all the blame on him, I knew what I was doing, but … You know me, Spence, I'm all about self destruction. Like I said, I was heartbroken, and lonely and I have abandonment issues and I let it happen."

"And after?" Spencer flashes back to that morning when she saw Ashley get off of Aiden's bike and it breaks her heart all over again.

"I fell back into old habits," Ashley explains with a guilty expression. "Before I met you, I didn't do relationships, I just had sex. I guess I was trying to convince myself I could just go back to that, you know? And Aiden, he was there, and he wanted me, and he was familiar, and I was lonely, and I used him. We just had sex; that was it. I know that for someone like you, sex is a huge deal, but for someone like me, it isn't. I mean, obviously it is with you, because I'm in love with you, but meaningless sex is, well, meaningless to me."

"Did he know that's all it was?" Spencer feels sick at the thought of her girlfriend and Aiden sharing something that she thinks of as the ultimate form of intimacy, but she tries her best to get passed it. It's in the past, it's over now, and she just keeps reminding herself that it didn't mean the same to Ashley, and Ashley's feelings on the subject mean more in this case.

"He wanted it to be more, but I was pretty clear that it wasn't," she answers, deciding that it's best not to get into any kind of detail, like the fact that Aiden didn't get the job done once, not that it was much of a surprise – he never could. She isn't really sure if it's because he just sucks in bed or if it's because she isn't the least bit attracted to him, but it never happened. "It wasn't even a friends with benefits thing, I was just blatantly using him, but he was too pathetic to care, I guess." She can see that Spencer is amused and she sighs. "Look, I'm not proud of it, Spence, but I'm trying to be honest here. I didn't have feelings for Aiden, not when I was with you, not when we broke up, and if I'm being honest with myself, not even when I was dating him. I was just being stupid and immature and running away from my pain. I said I'd never stop trying, and I guess it just seemed so impossible when I really realized what I had done and how much I had hurt you, that I gave up before I even started."

"When I saw you guys together that morning," Spencer begins, avoiding Ashley's gaze and focusing on the bed spread beneath her. "And heard that you guys were back together … I started to think that maybe it's what you had wanted all along, but you just didn't want to hurt me. Like you had just been waiting for me to break up with you. That's why you went to Europe, knowing that'd be the last straw or something."

"No, no, no," Ashley immediately chants, shifting forward to wrap her arms around Spencer and hold her tightly. It makes her almost physically ill to know that she made Spencer think that for even a second. "God, no, baby. I promise you, that couldn't be further from the truth. There hasn't been a single second since I met you that I wanted anyone else but you. I just sucked at showing it. Me leaving for Europe was just me running away from all of our issues, all of _your_ issues. I was just plain stupid and selfish and that's the only reasoning I have. I wish I had a better excuse, but I don't. I swear I'm not like that anymore, though. I know that I was far from the perfect girlfriend, and I took you for granted, but it's going to be so different this time. I'm going to treat you like the princess that you are."

Spencer laughs, liking the sound of that. She sniffles, but doesn't start crying. After a few more moments of being held, Spencer pulls back and holds Ashley's gaze, seeing all the regret, guilt, and most of all, love there. She smiles softly and presses their lips together, hoping it tells Ashley that it's okay now. She doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't think she can find the right words, not without crying, so she settles for this kiss.

* * *

"Hey, Ashley," Cat greets her favorite customer with a smile. It's a big surprise to see her after all this time, but it's a happy surprise. "Long time no see."

"Hey, Cat," Ashley smiles back, leaning over the bar to give the older woman a brief hug. She suddenly realizes how long it's been since she's been to her old hang out, and she feels bad. "Can I just get two Cokes for now?"

"No problem," the blonde nods, grabbing two glasses. She looks behind Ashley to see if she can see who the girl is with, but the place is pretty packed and she can't see through the bodies. While Ashley hadn't been there in a while, she had seen Spencer there a few times, and was saddened to see her without Ashley, leaving Cat to assume that they had broken up. "Who are you here with?"

"Spencer," Ashley confirms with a bright smile, knowing that's exactly what she wants to hear.

"Good!" Cat laughs, holding both glasses under the machine as it fills them with Coke. "Are you two back together?" Ashley thinks about asking her how she knew they had broken up, but decides that Cat just always seems to know everything.

"Yeah, we got back together on Christmas."

"I'm glad. She's really good for you," Cat comments, placing the full glasses in front of the brunette. "Why did you guys break up?"

"It's a long story," Ashley sighs, recalling the rest of the conversation she had with Spencer the other night. It had gone on until almost five in the morning, and there were a lot of tears, and even some yelling, but she knows that it was necessary, and they both feel much better now. "I fucked up big time, but I matured, we worked through it and we're together again. Better than ever."

"I'm happy for you, Ash." Cat had always been one of their first supporters. She knows all about Ashley's past and her issues, maybe better than anyone since she witnessed a lot of it, and she had always felt kind of protective of her, and she's so glad to know that Ashley has finally found someone that will help her be the person Cat has always known she could be. "Don't go messing up again, though. I didn't like seeing your girl with her wounded puppy face on for the past couple months."

"Believe me, I won't let it happen again," Ashley promises, holding up two fingers in the universal sign of scout's honor. She sees people at the other end of the bar trying to get Cat's attention, so she picks up their drinks and gets ready to leave. "I better let you get back to work, but we'll come back over to talk more when you're not as busy, okay?"

"Okay, and happy New Year!"

* * *

"I definitely prefer Grey to Ego," Spencer declares as the couple makes their way from the dance floor back to their table.

"I couldn't agree more, Spence," Ashley huffs, out of breath from the show they put on for everyone. She slides into the booth and holds up her arm so Spencer can cuddle into her side. "I'm already pooped and it's just after eleven."

"You're getting sad in your old age," Spencer teases, poking Ashley in the stomach. She's equally as tired, but she figures they just need a breather and they'll be up for another round or two of dancing. "Let's just rest for a bit, maybe until midnight, and then we can go back out there and show these chumps how to do it."

"That's why you're the brains of the operation," Ashley comments, using her free hand to tilt Spencer's chin up and give her a kiss. "I think we need refills to cool us down. More Coke?"

"I wanna remember tonight, so yeah." Ashley gives her a series of quick kisses on her lips, nose and forehead, before slipping back out of the booth and making her way back over to the bar. Cat is really busy at the other end, so she sits on a stool to wait. Not a minute later, she feels a tap on her shoulder and she turns around to find Aiden staring down at her.

"This seat taken?" he asks, gesturing towards to the empty stool beside Ashley.

"I guess not," she mumbles half-heartedly, glancing back towards Kat and willing her to hurry up. "Happy New Year."

"You too," he replies, trying to suppress a smile at seeing her. "I saw that you're here with Spencer?"

Ashley fights the urge to slap him for bringing her up. Instead, she settles for letting out a frustrated breath, hoping that Aiden might be able to take a hint for once in his life. "I am."

"You free for a midnight kiss?" he asks bluntly and Ashley cannot believe her ears. She whirls around and finally faces him fully.

"Are you kidding me?" she exclaims, the anger apparent on her face. Aiden's expression doesn't change and she rolls her eyes. "For you? No. I'll be a little preoccupied with Spence, thanks."

"So you two are back together?" he deduces, his right eye twitching slightly as he says it. She can easily see how much that bothers him and she smirks at him.

"Sure are," she confirms, hoping to rub it in. "Just as we should be and I've never been happier. So just get lost, Aiden." She turns to leave, deciding that drinks aren't worth this crap, when Aiden grabs her arm and spins her around. She rips her arm out of his grip and folds them across her chest, waiting for him to say whatever stupid thing he has to say so she can leave.

"Ash." She cringes at his whiney tone, already knowing she isn't going to like what he's about to say. "Look, I know I hurt you when I dumped you, and that you're just trying to get back at me, to get me to notice you again, but Spencer is a nice girl. You shouldn't be dragging her into our drama and toying with her just to make me jealous. If you really want to, we can talk about us again, and I might think about taking you back. But you shouldn't be settling for Spencer and getting her hopes up like this when you're just doing it to try to get back with me."

Ashley stares at him, eyes wide and mouth agape, completely blown away. She just looks at him blankly for a moment, trying to decide where to even begin telling him off for everything he just had the nerve to say to her. He had to be doing it just to piss her off, she refused to believe that he could possibly be so fucking stupid.

"Did you seriously just say all of that to me?" she finally spits out, no longer shocked, but extremely enraged.

"I hate to be blunt, but if there's anything I've learned from being shot in the heart, it's that you can't beat around the bush, Ash," he tells her, stepping towards her. "Life is too short to be playing these games. I should have died, Ash."

"_Oh my God_," Ashley exclaims, narrowing her eyes. "You seriously believe everything you just said to me, don't you?" Aiden furrows his brow in confusion and nods, scratching the back of his neck. "I don't even know where to begin … Okay, first; you are a fucking moron. I don't want you and I never wanted you. Sleeping with you again was pretty much the biggest mistake I have ever made in the entire 18 years of my life." Ashley pokes him pointedly in the chest, right where his stupid scar is. "I don't know what gave you the impression that you were anything other than a distraction from my pain over Spencer rejecting me, but that's all you were. And you weren't even a good one, because you _suck_ in bed!"

"_Ash_," Aiden begs, pained by her words and near tears. Why would she lie to him like this when he was just trying to give her another chance?

"Last year, after I lost my dad, I realized that you were pretty much the only male left in my life," Ashley says, trying to claim down and get her point across maturely. "I mistakenly tried to transfer my affection and relationship with my father onto you, by creating this made up deep friendship and connection with you, but it was all bullshit and all it did was cause me to hurt and lose Spencer."

"We _do_ have a connection," Aiden argues, refusing to back down from that claim. "I'm your best friend."

"No, you're not," Ashley shakes her head. "If you really were, you never would have taken advantage of me the way you did that night, and you never would have put your own feelings above mine on prom night. I met you a year before I met Spencer, okay? We don't have some epic past together. If it weren't for Spencer, we never even would have started talking or hanging out again. After Spencer and I got together the first time, I thought that she couldn't be my girlfriend _and_ my best friend, so I tried to convince myself that you held that position, and I was just so stupid. I'm sorry if I somehow led you on or something, I really am, but you and I? We're nothing, Aiden."

"Then why did you talk to me in Europe, huh?" He truly believed everything he said earlier, and doesn't want to believe what Ashley is telling him now. It would break his already damaged heart. It could take a bullet, but it couldn't take this. "You told me that you ignored all of Spencer's calls, but you picked up mine."

"Because you don't matter!" she yells, just as the music comes to an end. The group of people standing around them turn to look and can't help but snicker a bit at the loser getting dumped on New Years. "God, why would I care what I said to you? You got shot, I felt bad, I picked up. When Spencer called, I had no idea what to say to her, there was nothing I could say. I hurt her and unlike you, she has some pride, so she would have broken up with me. With you, even if I did care, you're so pathetic it wouldn't have mattered what I said anyway, you'd still be following me around like a puppy dog."

"So you're with Spencer and that's just it for us?"

"There is no us, Aiden! There hasn't been since sophomore year and there never ever will be again. Get that through your uneven head, God! I love Spencer, I'm _in_ love with her, and I have been since the moment I met her. I felt more for her that first day we hung out than I felt for you the entire time we were dating." Completely done with this conversation and this guy, Ashley turns to leave without the drinks she came for. Stopping a few feet away, she turns back around, stomps back over to him and slaps him across the face, just for fun. "Never talk to me or Spencer again. Got it?" Not waiting for an answer, Ashley storms back towards her table, where her girl is waiting for her. Aiden watches her leave with a broken look his face. His hand comes to rest over his heart, which feels like it has been shot for a second time.

Cat watches him with a very satisfied smile on her face. She never ever liked that guy.

* * *

"You ready for the new year?"

"I've been ready," Ashley informs her, wrapping her arms around Spencer's waist and bringing her even closer. After her confrontation with Aiden, Ashley was suddenly more energized and had dragged Spencer back to the dance floor immediately. The DJ had selected a slow song as the last song of the year, and the girls were with all the other couples, swaying together and waiting for the last two minutes of the year to fade out.

"Hasn't been the best year, huh?"

"Started off pretty great," Ashley admits, running her hands up and down Spencer's back in reassurance. "Then I kinda ran it off track. But not this year, baby. This year is gonna be the best ever, I can feel it."

"I don't know if I want it to be the best _ever_," Spencer teases, tightening her arms around Ashley's neck. "I'm kinda counting on at least a few more years together, and I don't want it to be all downhill after this one."

"Okay, this'll be the best one _yet_," Ashley corrects her with a winning smile. "See, I'm already better at fixing my mistakes."

"You always were good at sweet talking your way out of a fight, though," Spencer reminds her. "Okay, there's one minute left. Any New Years resolutions?"

"I already told you I'm gonna treat you like a Princess, right?" Spencer laughs and nods, dropping a kiss on Ashley's cheek. "No more drama. This year is gonna be drama free, Spence. Just you and me, no other bullshit. Deal?"

"No bullshit," the blonde agrees, absolutely loving the sound of a drama free year. She can't imagine that it'll last very long, but she just hopes that when it does eventually pop up again, that they'll handle it better than they did before. "This time it has to be different, okay? We can't mess this up again."

"We won't," the brunette promises venomously. "_I_ won't. This is it. I lost you once, and I'm never letting it happen again."

"Fifteen seconds, everyone!" the DJ announces over the loud speaker. Everyone suddenly quiets down, getting ready for the countdown. Spencer and Ashley tune all the other noise out and just focus on each other.

"Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven!"

"I love you, Ash," Spencer says, completely ignoring the chants around them. Ashley's eyes sparkle and she grins, dragging her arms up from Spencer's back to her neck.

"_God_, I love you, too." Not waiting for the countdown to finish, Ashley pulls the blonde against her, crashing their lips together in a kiss that neither girl will ever get tired of.

"Three! Two! One!" the crowd finishes, and everyone starts cheering and embracing, as Spencer and Ashley stand in the middle of it all, already engaged in a passionate kiss. "Happy New Year!"

* * *

Meh. I always wanted to write an Aiden smackdown, and it sucked. Same goes for Ashley finding out about the push from that bitch. Oh wells. Like I said, I liked the first part better and mostly just wrote this one for the hell of it, and it was random. Like I said before, this story was only two chapters, so it's done!

**ETA:** **greensocks**, since you replied without a sign in, so I can't reply to you, I'm doing it here, because I can't not say something. Aiden and Ashley were so far from epic and no way would they have still been together had she not lost the baby. The things that Ashley said to Aiden in this, while she would never say it on the show [because the writers are so far up Aiden's ass to admit he did ANYTHING wrong], were completely how I saw it. In S1, their past relationship was treated as if it wasn't that big a deal, and the only reason they would have lasted any amount of time was because Ashley was pregnant and she wanted to keep the baby [someone to finally love her, and someone she could love, unconditionally - aka, she wasn't in love with Aiden at all]. Then she lost it, and pushed people away, much like she did when her father died, and Aiden let her, and went and screwed Madison. How does that show he loved her at all? When she tried to push Spencer away after her dad died, Spencer didn't let it happen, because she loved Ashley. Ashley and Aiden barely acted as if they were even friends in S1, they had like two scenes by themselves, and that was only because Spencer couldn't be there or left. Then in S2, they're magically besties and have an epic history [when Ashley told Spencer in S1 that she had just met Madison in freshmen year, and Aiden in sophomore year], and Aiden is magically in love with her again, which he wasn't in S1. And if you'll notice, as soon as he was done causing contrived drama for Spashley in S2/3A, he had all of one scene with Ashley, where they talked about Kyla and money [and Ashley was annoyed by his presense], and they were no longer bffs. Sounds less than epic to me. You want to defend his behavior in S2, because he was just so in love and Ashley was acting like her whorey flirty self and it led him on? Fine. But what about in S3, when he took advantage of Ashley's broken heart after her break up with Spencer, and manipulated her in said heartbroken state, with his crap about how he should have died and whatever? Everything I had Ashley say about their 'relationship' in S3 was true, there was absolutely no love of any kind coming from Ashley. She was using him, and he was too pathetic to see it until 304, when he yelled at her about how she was acting, when he should have been taking his own advice - since all he cared about was himself, and didn't give a crap about the other people that actually died at Prom like Clay, or the people that lost people like Spencer, Glen or Chelsea. That scene with Madison, when they were watching a pregnant Chelsea standing over Clay's memorial thing, and all Aiden had to say was 'I could have/should have died' or whatever. Sorry, he gets NO sympathy from me, and I do not see his POV at all. I don't get the love for S1!Aiden, he was _always_ a douche [not being there for Ashley when she lost the spawn, then going after her ex-bff Madison, only to start going after her new bff Spencer that she obviously liked, then tried to take advantage of Spencer when she was drunk [and would have if she didn't pass out], then tried to kiss Ashley while she was vulnerable and heartbroken about her father's death [exactly what he did in S3, when she was vulnerable and heartbroken over Spencer dumping her], then go out with Ashley's sister, and all the shit at prom, and everything I already said about S3]. So, sorry. Ashley had every right to say what she said to him in this, because I believe everything she said to him. S2/3A!Ashley was this bitchy, bi-polar, selfish lame Ashley, who wasn't anything like the Ashley we were shown in S1, and it can be argued that it was because of her dad's death, or it was because the network/writers were in love with Matt/Aiden and rewrote history [which they did], but by the end of 3A and in 3B, Ashley had somewhat smartended up and she was a bit closer to the real Ashley, and she wasn't hanging out with that loser anymore, so I can totally believe that if they writers were self aware enough to see how horrible their own character was, that she would have told him off. It was not all Aiden's fault, Ashley played a huge part in it too, but the difference is that Ashley faced the consequences of her actions by losing Spencer, and she knew she had fucked up, and she matured and changed and isn't gonna do that again. Aiden never got told off by anyone, nobody told him that what he did was wrong, he did not feel guilty about anything he did, etc. So this was Ashley doing what she and Spencer should have done a long time ago, but never did. PS: I do think Aiden is that pathetic, and I personally think he would have said everything he said to Ashley in this, and really believed it.


End file.
